My life and my legs have been an open book.

Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.

It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is truly a loyal friend, then they wouldn't need to broadcast it; eventually, people will figure it out. I have a lot of good friends and not one of them has ever introduced themselves by saying, 'I'm a very good friend.'

I love people who have such passion for complete nonsense.

This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.

I don't understand what apps are on my phone. Why do they ask for passwords? Why do they all ask for different passwords? It's so frustrating that I end up just reading a book every time I try to go online.

The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.