It's a pleasure to play my sister because everything I've accused her of my whole life, I can now re-enact before her eyes.

Reality TV's pretty tricky for me. I don't really watch anything like that, because I think it's brain-sucking.

He was all emotion all the time, constantly talking about his feelings and his profound love for her. He was minutes from getting his first period. He wrote poems too. It's my personal belief that if men are writing poems, they're making up for something else like a big hair back, or one ball. Not that one ball is a bad thing. Especially since I don't know any females who are dying to their their hands on a set of balls. The way I see it, the less balls, the better.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

I've never made love to a ghost but I have made love to men who are a few years away from becoming a ghost.

There's a difference between watching a chef show, which doesn't feel like a reality show compared to the Housewives. Those shows can, I think, not only lower your IQ, but really just knock the wind out of you, because we're all here in this business.

Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.