It's a pleasure to play my sister because everything I've accused her of my whole life, I can now re-enact before her eyes.

That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.

Then they have the audacity to go shopping and pick out their own gifts. I want to know who the first person was who said this was okay. After spending all that money on a bachelorette weekend, a shower, and often a flight across the country, they expect you to go to Williams Sonoma or Pottery Barn and do research? Then they send you a thank-you note applauding you for such a thoughtful gift. They're the one who picked it out!

I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense.

People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.

Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends like that, and I think it's because it makes me look 'more together.

I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.