It’s true what they say about patience being a virtue; it just happens to be a virtue that I choose not to pursue.

The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.

The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.

You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.

That's Al Qaeda's new plan: to destroy America one period at a time.

I couldn't go any higher with three Michelin stars. I mastered my craft. I'm still learning and picking up ideas.

Anyone who is friends with Bill Clinton shouldn't be telling their wife about it.