I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.

My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.

If you get into a customer service fight with a hooker, even if you're in the right, you're in the wrong.

Angelina Jolie’s older brother James Haven, the one she made out with, has a license plate on his SUV that reads Shiloh. Maybe it’s not that weird. After all, he could be the father.

If you wait too long in Vegas, you end up with a chicken finger in your underwear.

I definitely don't want to have kids ... I don't think I'd be a great mother. I'm a great aunt or friend of a mother ... I don't want to spend that kind of time. I don't want to have a kid and have it raised by a nanny. I don't have time to raise a child.