My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.

It's a dream come true to have someone else portray me. Because I've been living this life for a long time, and I'm over myself.

I would never sell my dog for a man. I'd sell the man.

I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything

I was a fitness fiasco - until I found Pilates . . . It's been the most gentle on my body I'm longer and leaner and much more graceful. I can honestly say it's changed my body - and my life.

It’s true what they say about patience being a virtue; it just happens to be a virtue that I choose not to pursue.

Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.