I find it very annoying when people want to sit next to each other at a booth.

Don't take 'no' for an answer. Keep knocking down walls until someone says 'yes.'

Paula Abdul's really impatient to start a family. She says if she has to wait much longer she's going to go crazy-er.

I have been on a life-long search of how to stay in shape without putting any effort into it whatsoever.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

You got married recently to a rapper. It doesn't take them long to impregnate women.

Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.