I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.

When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?

If you wait too long in Vegas, you end up with a chicken finger in your underwear.

No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.

It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.

My message is strong and my belief is strong, in the fact that we can still be provocative and have fun and just get informed.

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.