First of all, who cares if people hate you? There's always a guarantee that certain people will dislike you. There's never any guarantee that anyone will like you. So if anyone likes you at all, you've already won.

It's a dream come true to have someone else portray me. Because I've been living this life for a long time, and I'm over myself.

Vomit and feces are two reason I have decided not to procreate.

I'm not graceful either. I have no rhythm, I'm never on top.

People always tell me I need to have a kid, and I say, No, I don't. Because I wouldn't have just one kid; I'd have six. I need a huge family. So I just kind of fill my house with tons of rejects and misfits so it feels like I have a bunch of children.

I wish it was that easy to get turned on for me - at this point, I need a bottle of Belevere and a fighterjet.

I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second... or the fifth. I'll just begin with what I can remember and not concern myself with order.