When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?

I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.

According to an article on CNN.com, a new study says people who are bad kissers don't get laid. Where are you supposed to learn how to kiss? If you go to Catholic school, it's from your priest; in public school, you learn from your teacher; and some guys learn from their sisters... if their sister is Angelina Jolie.

There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.

You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my age... and you have your own TV show.

You got married recently to a rapper. It doesn't take them long to impregnate women.