When I don't know what to do, I just open my mouth. Why won't anyone date me?

I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.

I don't want to be Oprah [Winfrey], I'm not trying to be Barbara Walters, but we can all do better.

How do you think jail was?! I got face raped by a woman... and I think I may have liked it.

The last time a straight man worked in the fashion industry, we got a fanny pack.

Why would you go out and not drink? Just stay home and sit there.

Paris Hilton is going on a goodwill mission to Rwanda. It’s the first time an entire Third World country will have to get immunizations for a visitor.