There's a McDonalds in Hong Kong & they're offering couples the opportunity to get married. You can have a McWedding.

I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.

I got a vibrator that needed two nine volt batteries. What am I - R2D2? I don't know what to do with that.

I had sex with a couple guys but it wasn't a baseball team. I saved that for my twenties.

Adults end up shading things and shading the truth, and you end up lying and telling people what they want to hear.

They travel in groups. You never see an Asian by their self.

Absolutely I'm going to be talking about it, because it's in the zeitgeist and it's happening. It's an election year. It's the biggest election. Every election is a big election, so whenever anybody says that it kinds of grates me, but it's a fiasco. It's turned into a complete circus act, so of course you have to make fun of it, but responsible journalists definitely are being irresponsible. They're giving [Donald Trump] so much air time.