My feeling is, if a dog is that hard up to break free, let it go. It's like a boyfriend who wants to break up. We all know the old adage "If you set someone free, and he never comes back, then he was never yours." I understand the main fear with setting dogs loose is they could get hit by a car, but so could an ex boyfriend. That's just a chance you have to take.

I don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.

People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.

Every time John Travolta assaults a masseur, a scientologist gets their wings.

I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

I don't want to be Oprah [Winfrey], I'm not trying to be Barbara Walters, but we can all do better.

I don't think the problem is telling people you're on a diet. The problem is eating ice cream for breakfast.