Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.

I haven't been manipulated. I did a documentary in prison years ago because I was so f - ed off with those lazy bastards in their bed for 18 hours a day, five dishes a day on a menu to choose from, playing soccer every day, going to the gym, watching movies.

A lot of people think that keying a car isn't the right way to get back at a guy. I disagree.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

According to the New York Post, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen are dating. They must be getting serious - Lance gave Ashley his yellow Live Strong bracelet. She wears it as a belt.

According to Life & Style Weekly, 50 Cent may be working on Lindsay Lohan's next album. Finally, a match made in rap heaven. He's a convicted drug dealer who's been shot nine times, and she spent 84 minutes in prison. This is a big step for Lindsay. The last time Lindsay got near a black guy she ran over his foot.

If you get into a customer service fight with a hooker, even if you're in the right, you're in the wrong.