Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.

I hate when men think that money is gonna buy you happiness... I mean, it helps.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.

That's the problem in my industry. Anyone can go and open a f - ing hotel. Anyone can go and buy a restaurant. It's not like a doctor or a lawyer, you need certain qualifications. That's the issue.

That's Al Qaeda's new plan: to destroy America one period at a time.