When you see the veins popping out of my neck, that's an exclamation point.

It's also a terrible kind of sentiment [ reality TV] for children and for people. It makes people feel like they all want to be famous for no reason.

People who have experience and credentials, they should be talking about that [Donald Trump presenting on TV]. I know everybody cares about ratings, but come on. The whole world is watching.

No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.

I’ll always be doing stand-up as long as people are still interested in seeing me.

I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.

But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.