There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.
Chelsea HandlerShamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he though we were headed to Iraq.
Chelsea HandlerI wish it was that easy to get turned on for me - at this point, I need a bottle of Belevere and a fighterjet.
Chelsea HandlerAccording to Life & Style Weekly, 50 Cent may be working on Lindsay Lohan's next album. Finally, a match made in rap heaven. He's a convicted drug dealer who's been shot nine times, and she spent 84 minutes in prison. This is a big step for Lindsay. The last time Lindsay got near a black guy she ran over his foot.
Chelsea Handler