The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.

People confuse the fact that I discuss drinking openly with the idea that I'm a heavy drinker. I don't want girls at my show wasted, screaming and yelling out and vomiting.

Amy Winehouse's mother wrote an open letter to the News of the World newspaper telling Amy she's worried about her and to please call her. I doubt this is the best way to communicate with Amy - she should try spelling it out in lines of cocaine.

I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.

Who's the president on the $100 bill? I don't know. I don't need to know because I don't use cash. I only use travelers checks.

Is Heather McDonald your best friend? You better get a new one.

I have more respect for somebody who's like, 'Yeah I like to party, so screw off,' then for Tara , who talks about not partying and ends up passed out underneath a Subway, not a subway station, but the actual sandwich shop - two days later.