We got to his place and it looked a lot like his personality. Just a bunch of space filler, nothing to really wow you. It looked like he had bought a lot of stuff from IKEA and then decided to refinish it at home. Everything was neat and tidy, but you wouldn't want any of it for yourself.

Let's all help each other be a little bit better at being human beings.

Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he though we were headed to Iraq.

I look hot and, most of all, skinny. I love the day after throwing up. I felt like a feather.

That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.

Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for six months to a year, and then see if you're ready to have a baby.

In these tough economic times, everybody has to cut back. I am down to three tabs of ecstasy a day.