It's a dream come true to have someone else portray me. Because I've been living this life for a long time, and I'm over myself.

There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.

Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter’s house—obviously, they’ll have a turkey with all-white meat.

Let's all help each other be a little bit better at being human beings.

I would rather sit next to a transgender person and discuss why every single one I've met smells like a bar in the daytime than listen to people tell my why I want to have children and that I just don't know it yet. I do know, because I'm me and my feelings are the ones in my head. I don't want to have kids, and it's not a device to get attention or have conversations about it. I simply find children incredibly immature and, more often than not, dumb.

That just sends the wrong message to everybody. [Donald Trump] should have the least amount of air time.

If you can't trust your coke dealer, who can you trust?