Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem.

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.

Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.