I'm getting so old, I don't even buy green bananas anymore.

When I used to gamble, I looked for players with head covers on their irons. Those guys I could beat.

Remember you have to be comfortable. Golf is not a life or death situation. It's just a game and should be treated as such. Stay loose.

Golf is a thinking man's game. You can have all the shots in the bag, but if you don't know what to do with them, you've got troubles.

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.