Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.
I'm getting so old, I don't even buy green bananas anymore.
Somebody give me a banana. I'm playing like a monkey, so I might as well eat like one.
No one has as much luck around the greens as one who practices a lot.
A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.
I've heard people say putting is 50 percent technique and 50 percent mental. I really believe it is 50 percent technique and 90 percent positive thinking, see, but that adds up to 140 percent, which is why nobody is 100 percent sure how to putt.