When Lee and Jack win, it is good for golf. When I win, it is better.

The sweetest two words are 'next time.' The sourest word is 'if.'

Somebody give me a banana. I'm playing like a monkey, so I might as well eat like one.

Putting isn't golf, greens should be treated almost the same as water hazards: you land on them, then add two strokes to your score.

Golf is the only sport that a professional can enjoy playing with his friends.

I have 13 dependents. All of them have 140 IQ or better, except me. I'm under 100 IQ, and I support them all.

I am a millionaire today and my wife deserves all of the credit. Before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.