I have 13 dependents. All of them have 140 IQ or better, except me. I'm under 100 IQ, and I support them all.

When I used to gamble, I looked for players with head covers on their irons. Those guys I could beat.

Somebody give me a banana. I'm playing like a monkey, so I might as well eat like one.

He told me just to keep the ball low.

When Lee and Jack win, it is good for golf. When I win, it is better.

The best putting advice I ever received was make sure you concentrate real hard on keeping that darn ball real low

I don't exaggerate - I just remember big.