After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

I am a millionaire today and my wife deserves all of the credit. Before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.

Playing golf is not hot work. Cutting sugar cane for a dollar a day - that's hot work. Hotter than my first wrist watch.

The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

I'm getting so old, I don't even buy green bananas anymore.

I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.

A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.