Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!

They claim red meat is bad for you. But I never saw a sick-looking tiger.

A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.

I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.

I have 13 dependents. All of them have 140 IQ or better, except me. I'm under 100 IQ, and I support them all.

The sweetest two words are 'next time.' The sourest word is 'if.'

Then Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in. I'll caddie for Jack.