The boat was so old; it must have been launched when Long John Silver had two legs and an egg on his shoulder.

The police stopped me when I was out in my car. They told me it was a spot check. I admitted to two pimples and a boil.

I won't say I was slow developer, but our teacher was quite pleased to have someone her own age in the class to talk to.

My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

A luxury meal was prairie sandwiches - two slices of bread with wide-open spaces between them.

A neighbour put his budgerigar in the mincing machine and invented shredded tweet.

She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.