A neighbour put his budgerigar in the mincing machine and invented shredded tweet.

I first met my wife in the tunnel of love. She was digging it at the time.

I rang the bell of this small bed-and breakfast place, whereupon a lady appeared at an outside window. "What do you want?", she asked. "I want to stay here", I replied. "Well, stay there then", she said and closed the window.

She's a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.

A neighbour put his budgerigar in the mincing machine and invented shredded tweet.

My wife went to a beauty parlor and got a mudpack; for two days she looked nice, then the mud fell off.

My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.