A luxury meal was prairie sandwiches - two slices of bread with wide-open spaces between them.
A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.
My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.
I felt as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section.
I first met my wife in the tunnel of love. She was digging it at the time.
My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.