My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.
Chic MurrayI dreamt I was forced to eat 25lb of marshmallows. When I woke up, my pillow was missing.
Chic MurrayThis friend of mine had a terrible upbringing. When his mother lifted him up to feed him, his father rented the pram out. Then, when they came into money later, his mother hired a woman to push the pram - and he's been pushed for money ever since.
Chic Murray