My father was a simple man; my mother was a simple woman; you see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton.
A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on.
We've got stained glass windows in our house; it's those damned pigeons.
My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.
I first met my wife in the tunnel of love. She was digging it at the time.
I got up this morning. I like to get up in the morning; it gives me the rest of the day to myself. I crossed the landing and went down stairs. Mind you, if there had been no stairs, I wouldn't even have attempted it.