Jokes that make me laugh out loud when I write them almost always bomb. I have no idea why.

Bowling really was a big American sport in the '50s, '60s, and '70s, and then it kind of died off in the '80s.

If you have laser-like brain it's not always focused on the most productive things. If you want to play Halo: Reach all day, that's fine, but if you want to accomplish some other things, here are some ways to do that using your innate nerd gifts.

Real philosophy is like trying to read an alarm system installation manual in Korean.

Twitter is basically text messaging. Twitter is a guy you can always elbow in the side and say, "Hey, look, a guy in a clown suit just threw up!" And I don't have 400-800 words to say about that, I just wanted to say that one thing.

The 'Hipster Nerds' like stuff because they hate it. It's like they ironically like it.

Trying to make strangers laugh is crazy and more than a little narcissistic.