Black movies don't have real names, they have names like Barbershop. That's not a name, that's just a location.

Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.

Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, "I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house!" A woman lie is like, "It's your baby!"

See... Relationships are hard, man. For order, for any relationship to work, both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus, and we all know what that page is. We all know what that focus is. In order for the relationship to work both people have to have the same focus, and what's that focus? That focus is all about HER! It's all about her!

Men do not settle down. Men surrender.

Guys play characters that won't grow up and something catastrophic happens and they have to grow up to save the day - that's pretty much what today's comedy is about.

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?