Kids raised on a culture of “We’re not going to keep score in the game because we don’t want anybody to lose.” Or just ignoring race to a fault. You can’t say “the black kid over there.” No, it’s “the guy with the red shoes.” You can’t even be offensive on your way to being inoffensive.

And even if you get shot by a stray bullet, you don't gotta go to no doctor to get it taken out, whoever shot you will take they bullet back! "I believe you have my property!"

When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

I'm old enough to remember when there were no black quarterbacks - there were no blacks on TV. I hope my son or daughter doesn't have to be as fixated on race as I am, because he or she will grow up in freer times.

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

You just got to be really logical when you're a comedian - to a fault. Like a lawyer's got to believe in the law.