Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won!

I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.

It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

When you're white, the sky's the limit. When you're black, the limit's the sky.

People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t.

So, to say Obama is progress is saying that he’s the first black person that is qualified to be president. That’s not black progress. That’s white progress. There’s been black people qualified to be president for hundreds of years. The question is, you know, my kids are smart, educated, beautiful, polite children. There have been smart, educated, beautiful, polite black children for hundreds of years. The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.