Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.

If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.

You can only offend me if you mean something to me.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn't even the star of his own Halloween special.

Early in my career it was very important that I gain the reputation. I haven't been on the road in two or three years, but when I say tickets are on sale, I know they're going to be gone, even if my movie bombed or my TV show sucked.