Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.

Black people have been qualified to be president for hundreds of years. George Washington Carver could have been president. I could go on with a list of black men that were qualified to be the president of the United States. So the Obama victory is progress for white people.

Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.

All you crazy white people "I'm American!", all you did was come out of your mother's pussy on American soil. That's it. That's it! What, you think you're better than somebody from France 'cause you came out of a pussy in Detroit?

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.

Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.