You can't think the thoughts you want to think if you think you're being watched.

You won’t be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.

Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.

Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.

Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.

If Bill Gates woke up with Oprah's money he'd jump out the window.

In the world of animation, you can be anything you wanna be. If you're a fat woman, you can play a skinny princess. If you're short wimpy guy, you can play a tall gladiator. If you're a white man, you can play an Arabian prince. And if you're a black man, you can play a donkey or a zebra.