I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?

When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!

My kids don't have a trust fund, they have a debt fund. Oh my God, they're $4 million in the hole.

It's hard for a man to turn down sex... if they chase us, we can't run that fast.

Standup comedians are attracted to one another because of their faults. So we're all kind of messed up in the same way, and once I was around a group of people that saw the world in a different way, it's like this is where I need to be.

I love seeing black people do normal things, being judged as normal people.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.