If your work is so smart that only smart people get it, it's not that smart.

All you crazy white people "I'm American!", all you did was come out of your mother's pussy on American soil. That's it. That's it! What, you think you're better than somebody from France 'cause you came out of a pussy in Detroit?

You know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.

I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.

I saw the yearbook picture. There was six of them! I ain't have six friends in high school, I don't have six friends now! That's three on three with a half court.

I want to really take chances. I want to be funny in a lot of different ways. I'd like to be great. I want to reach for greatness.

Women need food, water, and compliments That's right. And an occasional pair of shoes.