I'll probably pay more attention to the musicians in the pit than the stars because they're the closest you're going to get to normal people in the audience.

After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.

I literally don't know what I'm going to do next. That's successful.

I live way below my means.

You know the world's gone mad when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the USA of arrogance and the Germans don't want to go to war !

A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.

I saw the yearbook picture. There was six of them! I ain't have six friends in high school, I don't have six friends now! That's three on three with a half court.