Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.

For the most part, comedy is the only fair part of show business.

If you live below your means, you can turn down stuff all the time.

An entertainer's reputation as a live act is the most valuable thing he or she can have. If people know you give good shows, you'll never be broke for the rest of your life.

The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.