It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something.

It's hard for a man to turn down sex... if they chase us, we can't run that fast.

You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.

Movies have takes. But plays are like life - you don't really get takes.

When people try to read between the lines - critics, they have a job. Their job is to make something bigger than it is.

If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.

When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.