Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.
The U.S government hates rap music
When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes. 'Cause if you was younger, you'd have got out the way!
You just got to be really logical when you're a comedian - to a fault. Like a lawyer's got to believe in the law.