You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.

The only plan I have is to not do anything I don't want to do - and to never work just for money.

The thing about having an audience right there laughing is that critics can write what they want, but the proof is right there in front of you.

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.

No film critic's going to say it, but 'Madagascar 3' is better than 'The Artist.'

The only reaction that frightens me is people not laughing. It's extraordinary to me when you get a laugh. That you can go in front of a bunch of people you never met before, you can say some stuff and they all laugh in unison - that's amazing. It's a miracle.