I love black people, but I hate niggers.

I'm old enough to remember when there were no black quarterbacks - there were no blacks on TV. I hope my son or daughter doesn't have to be as fixated on race as I am, because he or she will grow up in freer times.

Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.

George Bush hates midgets.

You want to track Hollywood careers, look in the real estate section. You see a guy buy a house that costs $6 million, and you can literally start counting the days until he starts doing crappy movies.

When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it.

If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.