You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need to control the bullets, that’s right. I think all bullets should cost five thousand dollars… five thousand dollars per bullet… You know why? Cause if a bullet cost five thousand dollars there would be no more innocent bystanders.

The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other.

I can't cook, but I have a nice book of menus... and I can plate and set the table.

I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

The two best things you can do for a person is have sex or make them laugh.

I can see the humor in just about any situation. After I lost my dad, I realized that none of us should take things too seriously, because everything except death works itself out.