You can't be happy that fire cooks your food and be mad it burns your fingertips.

People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t.

Most parts in comedy, they're not really written for men. They're written for, like, these boy-men.

They don't want you to vote. If they did, we wouldn't vote on a Tuesday. In November. You ever throw a party on a Tuesday? No. Because nobody would come.

Hollywood's racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It's like - we like you, Rhonda, but you're not a Kappa.

Nobody's about saving anymore. No one cares about a rainy day anymore. Nobody saves up enough for even an umbrella for a rainy day. It's sad. It really is a new form of slavery. We used to work to be able to afford material things. Now we work for these things. They're the boss. That house you can't afford, that car that's out of your price range, that cellphone that drains your bank account - that's your boss.

My movies are okay, but they're not my specials.