A black Christian is like a black person with no memory.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.

A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.

When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.

You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.