Here's what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.

I like talking about subjects that aren't funny in the first place and making them funny. So anything down and depressing is something I'll talk about.

No matter what happens or how difficult things become, you will eventually feel better.

I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.

You won’t be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy.

I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.