The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense.

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

If you're the president you only have two jobs: peace and money.

The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.

When you're doing a big-budget movie and you're four on the call sheet, you've got a lot of free time.

Guys play characters that won't grow up and something catastrophic happens and they have to grow up to save the day - that's pretty much what today's comedy is about.

You won’t be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.