The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

Whenever I go out with other married couples, I like to bring along a single crackhead. Just to spice things up.

My dad worked every day. I didn't get into show business to work every day. So the fact that most days I get to like, spend really good time with my kids - that's what success is to me.

My first year on 'SNL', I made $90,000 dollars.

Success is just hanging out with my kids. I mean, I always say if you have options, you're rich. To me, success is the fact that hey, I just did a movie and maybe I'll do some stand up, maybe I'll will write a book or maybe I will do a play.

For the most part, comedy is the only fair part of show business.

If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.