When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.

Men are handicapped when it comes to arguing, 'cause we have a need to make sense.

When you're making a real documentary, you shoot it and the movie happens. You don't make - this sounds corny - you don't make a documentary, a documentary makes you. It really does.

I believe you got my property?

If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.

I'm looking forward to not being tired around my child. My father was tired a lot. I want to play ball with my child without having to grab my shoulder because I'm not physically fit. And I want to really teach my child and become his or her friend.

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.