When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them. You're meeting their representative.

Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released.

Women need food, water, and compliments That's right. And an occasional pair of shoes.

Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.

Is America ready for a black president? Well, I say we just had a retarded one. When did being black become a bigger deterrent than being retarded?

I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things.